In a different world

Alarm starts beeping 

7.00 am

She opens her eyes

Contemplates her room, one last time.

Sunlit room

Warm yellow rays wafting through her window,

dust modes floating, suspended, in the air.

Beautiful yet normal.

Too bright to look at, yet too bright to look away.

A relaxing sensation of peace yet pain.

The feeling of falling,

falling deeper and deeper into the brightness.

A strange feeling.

Frozen in the moment,

Unable to move.

Up!

Washed her face, brushed her teeth, grabbed her notebook

Coffee to go

Walks down the street

Moving cars, bicycles, traffic, 

rushed people, angry cop, hungry homeless, 

empty church, full crowded boutiques...

Her head in the ground.

Book in a hand, pen in her other hand.

Feeling... not so satisfied.

She finds a spot.

Sat down, in the middle of the rush;

And fell into her book.

Disconnected.

All senses flow into one unanimous feeling,

of peace.

Zoned out...

& wrote:

"In a different world, I wouldn't be here

no more pain, no more chaos,

no more insecurities, no more fear,

no more doubts, no more tears,

no more unsafety, no more suffocating,

no more feeling useless, no more shot doors,

no more hiding from the crowd, no more underestimating myself.

In a different world, I will feel peace, I will be happy,

I will be tired but satisfied.

In another world, no more disappointments, no more fighting alone.

She will be free.

She will rise; Not because it's a typical way to answer constant failure and pain.

Just because when you're different... in a different world... it counts..."

Closed her book, walked back home,

a sparkle in her eyes, a smile on her face...

Next day,

they found her,

box of pills in a hand,

letter in her other hand,

fixed to the ground,

ending her letter with:

"... I'm stopping this pain."

... while walking back home, her plan was disturbed by a little kid.

He followed her everywhere!

Just looking, scanning her moves, smiling.

Approached her: "You have a great smile, I like you, what have you been writing about?, I see you everyday walking sitting in the same spot, you're beautiful, what have you been writing about? can you teach me how to write?"

She could feel it in her bones, this little one was no coincidence.

Next day, in a different world,

they found her in her spot. In the middle of the rush.

Little one next to her, contemplating her moves, listening to her words...

and that was it

the spark of hope.

We might go through a lot, life will knock us down many times,

things might not go as planned. This is not the end of the story.

Don't let it eat you alive. Communicate it. Show it. 

Suicide is never a plan. It's never a solution.

You might feel useless. You might feel frozen.

But in a different world, you're a hero.